Bustin' at the seams

The Story of My Winter Jacket

For the last few months (basically since the winter weather started) I've been wearing what used to be my biggest most roomy winter jacket. It's a nice warm, and respectably cute/fashionable columbia brand jacket.

But then something happened on Friday. I wore it to work - it's been getting a little snug, and sometimes tricky to get the zipper done up over my ever enlarging belly - but it still DID zip up over the bump.

Somehow, in the time I was at work on Friday, my belly GREW.

When I went to zip up my coat and leave for the day, I just could NOT get the darned zipper to do it's job! And trying to "suck it in" sure as heck didn't do anything but leave me a little breathless, and still very much unzipped!

Now I had debated whether or not I should pick up an extra large jacket because I sort of figured I would eventually outgrow the jacket before winter was over - but I had held out because I thought it would have been silly to fork out a bunch more just for a coat I'd wear for a few weeks, tops. And also, my mom, knowing my dilemma, had picked up a used coat that she figured was quite roomy enough to accommodate all the extra me. So I do have in my possession now, a very big coat that does fit. In fact, it still has lots more room.

The only catch is, this big momma coat is sort of... um... HUGE. And... animal print.

Not a subtle animal print (though how could ANYTHING be subtle on a coat THAT big?!).


(that's my mom modelling the jacket - trust me, the photo does not do it justice - even Mr. Daybyday asks me not to wear it)

And I'm not a fashion diva, but I just can't seem to bring myself to wear the gigantic flamboyant parka to work. Or anywhere. It would look especially AWESOME with my backpack (please note the sarcasm).

Well, maybe I should just be grateful that I haven't yet discovered any stretch marks on my body - the jacket is just temporary, after all!

Something to smile about

So I walked into the nursery the other night, and flicked on the lights ...


Apparently our young male kitty, Mr. Handsome McFluffiness, has decided that he quite likes napping in the change table attachment of the play pen we recently got as a baby shower gift.




Me: Well make yourself at home, Mr. McFluff, why don't you?

McFluff: Am trying to.



McFluff: Turn off lights on way out. K THX BYE.

Some days are better than others

Sadly, today is not one of the better days. There is no particular reason why. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good. The day before that I was feeling a bit blue. It's like a constant roller coaster that I'm hoping is just caused by pregnancy hormones and a little bit of anxiety.

Thank-you, by the way, for all the kind words and support - it really does make a difference and cheer me up.

I think today I just feel helpless. Sometimes no matter what I try to do to make myself more physically comfortable at work or at home, my back starts killing me. Then I wonder how I'm supposed to make it until February 21st when I'll be 36 weeks and ready to test for the wee one's lung maturity. And then I feel selfish for thinking about my own discomfort when I know I'd go through much worse if it meant the wee one would have better chances of being okay. And yet I'm guiltily glad that I likely won't have to endure much more than 6 weeks of feeling how I do right now.

But then a whole other roller coaster will begin. And I'm just so scared. It has me in tears.

I know there's really nothing the doctors can tell me right now, it's still all "wait and see" - and not knowing what I need to prepare for once the wee one is born is so much more difficult than I had anticipated. I feel completely overwhelmed. Not only do I have to learn how to take care of a newborn (in the best case scenario), but I also need to learn how to take care of an infant with special needs (even if that just means knowing all the warning signs of shunt malfunction or infection). But how will I know what "normal" is for my child? And all the specialists are over an hour away from where we live...

I'm just really feeling the weight of it all today - despite knowing that there are others out there with much bigger struggles than I am facing. I wish I had their strength and grace.

T-minus....

I know I haven't posted in a while - but it's not for want of material to post about - quite the opposite actually!

There have been far too many things going on lately - including having my delivery date bumped up by a WHOLE MONTH!

So we now have roughly a month and a half until the doctors want to test for lung maturity, and if the baby's lungs are mature, we'd deliver within days of the test ("We don't mess around" were the perinatologist's actual words). It's still unknown whether it will be a c-section or induced delivery - that will depend on how the wee one continues to grow, and particularly, how big the head gets. Although, I think if I hadn't shown such interest in a regular delivery, they'd probably just schedule a c-section. But I just want to do whatever is best for the wee one at this point.

We went for a tour of the hospital where we'd be delivering (though I was slightly worried over the holidays that I might go into premature labour while visiting all the family and friends back home), and I feel a bit more comfortable now knowing where I'll likely be, and having seen how the maternity ward there works. We're going to try and see if we can get a tour of the NICU - or at least talk with some of the staff there, because we've been told that as soon as the baby is born the NICU team will whisk baby away to the NICU (even if there are no other complications aside from the hydrocephalus) and do whatever scans the neurosurgeon needs to determine if and what type of surgery will be required.

So I'm a little worried that they might take the wee one away from me before I even get a chance to see my little one. But again, I'm willing to do whatever is best for wee one - and I've already instructed Mr. Daybyday that he is to go with wee one to the NICU if that happens.

So yeah. We have four fewer weeks to prepare - but I am selfishly happy about that. I'm getting so huge and uncomfortable, I couldn't really imagine going the full 40 weeks (or longer!) - plus I can hardly wait to finally meet the wee one!

So Mr. Daybyday and I have been busy getting things ready at home - he's actually been on a nesting rampage - it's quite adorable!

And I have luckily been getting some interesting and exciting results at work, so despite the bumped up deadline, I might just end up having something remotely publishable before the wee one arrives too!

But this all means that I have much less time to devote to blogging (I can't even seem to keep up with my blog reading!) - but I still appreciate all your kind words, and support! In any case, I'll try to post updates when I can, but at least now you know why that might not be happening very often.

And finally, an updated picture of the wee one from the most recent sonogram - some people have difficulty seeing the face, as the wee one was being a little shy - it's a picture taken head on (not a profile), and it shows part of the right side of the face (from forehead to the upper lip) - just enough to see a scrinched up little smile!