Working Mama and Mr. Mom

So my maternity leave ended and I returned to work.

I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised at how well I handled the transition. I actually feel guilty for how much I'm enjoying being back at work. I think there are a number of factors coming into play here:

1. Mr. Daybyday is doing the Mr. Mom thing as a stay at home dad, which makes it a little easier to leave the Wee One in the morning (I get to call home and "talk" to her whenever I want)
2. I think I might actually enjoy my work more than I had realized (gasp!)
3. I now give myself permission to (or at least feel less guilty when I do) socialize, exercise, and pursue my interests while I'm at work. I guess when I was home with the Wee One I would feel guilty for doing any of those things, unless she was napping - but then there were other things that HAD to be done (like laundry, cooking, cleaning, eating, showering, etc). Mr. Daybyday seems to have a much better handle on keeping himself "balanced" while being a stay at home papa.
4. Also, it doesn't hurt that I get to move into a brand spanking new building and office (with a new computer too!) - makes work much more appealing than with my previous diggs.

I also seem to have forgotten some of my previous worries about work. Some of the things that used to bother me, little insecurities, etc.. they just don't seem like such a big deal anymore. I'm constantly surprised at the confidence I seem to have now. I knew that the Wee One would constantly be teaching me things, and I guess putting things in perspective is one of them. A stint in the NICU, followed by ongoing medical issues tends to make the small stuff seem... well, small.

So here I am, back at work, and in much better shape (mentally and emotionally - physically will take a bit longer) than I had anticipated just a few short weeks ago.

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So I should probably end the post on a happy note like that, but I do want to share with you (cause you've all been so wonderful and supportive) that the Wee One will be having an MRI tomorrow. They'll have to sedate her for it. I hate that they'll have to sedate her. It means placing an IV, and she's such a hard stick. And I'm so worried that with her respiratory issues that sedation will be risky. I just hate that she has to undergo any more procedures. But a few weeks ago she developed this growth on the top of her head. At first they thought it was just a vascular birthmark (a hemangioma, to be specific), and those usually just stop growing on their own at around 1 year of age, and then regress and disappear within a few years after that. BUT its growth since has made the neurosurgeon worry. He says it is firmer than a hemangioma, and he is worried that since the skin is pulled so tight over the growth, and so thin, that she could easily get a scratch there and it could get infected (and an infection anywhere near her shunt would require about a month of hospitalization, shunt removal, a temporary external drain during a course of antibiotics, and then finally another surgery to place a new shunt - all in all ,VERY UNPLEASANT, and something to avoid at all costs).

So, here's hoping that tomorrow's MRI reveals the growth to be a simple cyst that can be easily removed (which is what her neurosurgeon guesses the growth to be).

I know that given all of the rather serious congenital problems the wee one has had, she's come through beautifully and we should be happy - but I just can't help feeling that she really deserves to catch a good break, you know? Luckily, she seems unaffected by all of this, and is still an adorably happy little girl. I've even got several videos of her up on youtube now (email me if you'd like to see them - I'd rather not post the link here in order to maintain some semblance of anonymity).

Oh! and her latest achievement? She can now hold her head up while she's on her tummy! Hurrah!