Names

And for my second post of the day, I'd like to talk about names.

Mr. Daybyday and I have different last names (despite my calling him Mr. Daybyday on this blog).

I am Dr. Daybyday, and he is Mr. NotDaybyday.

We were married when Wee One was born, and although we knew we would be challenging tradition, we decided to name Wee One: Wee One Daybyday. NOT Wee One NotDaybyday.

So she has MY last name, not his.

This, apparently, blows a lot of peoples' minds.

It didn't really matter to me what Wee One's last name would be (so long as it was one of our names, or a combination of the two). And I thought it was pretty sweet that Mr. Daybyday (I'm reverting to calling him what I always call him on this blog, but rest assured, his last name is still NotDaybyday) opted for Wee One having my last name. In fact, he even tossed around the idea of changing HIS last name to match ours because he thought it might be nice for us all to have the same last name, and I'm too much of a feminist to change mine (though I do always have the excuse that I've made a name for myself in my work). I was hesitant, because I didn't want people to think I made him change his name.

So far he has not changed his last name. But since he is the primary stay at home parent with Wee One, and she has multiple medical specialists who call about results and appointments, when the phone rings he often hears "Is this Mr. Daybyday?" To which he has found it easier to just reply "Yes" instead of "Actually, this is Mr. NotDaybyday, but I'm Dr. Daybyday's husband, and Wee One's father."

Strange how such a little thing can confuse SO many people.

I wonder how many other married couples with different last names give their children the mother's last name?

I've even had female labmates ask me for advice on convincing their husbands (or prospective husbands) to opt for this sort of naming scheme. I can definitely see the appeal of the whole family having the same last name - but why should husbands need convincing? Why would it hurt their egos to give their child the name of the woman they love? Or is it older family members they fear upsetting?

It's an odd situation. But in any case, I love that Wee One and I are Daybyday girls. And I love that Mr. NotDaybyday doesn't mind challenging tradition.

Relief

Thank-you all for your encouraging comments and support - I really appreciate them! I would have posted sooner, but just as Wee One was starting to recover from this nasty cold I, apparently, caught it myself.

Sick (but significantly better) baby + sick mama = very very tired Daybyday household

But now Wee One and I are both just at the annoying "when will the phlegm every go away?!" phase of our colds (which is much more annoying for her, what with having just that one nostril to breathe through and all). She's still my little champ, however, and it amazed me how quickly she got over the worst of this cold!

One plus to this whole experience: due to said nasal congestion, I cannot at present smell baby poop.

This leads to some interesting conversations in the Daybyday household, including:

"Papa Daybyday, come sniff her butt. She just did the poop face."

And because he is equally fascinated by everything the Wee One does, Mr. Daybyday did indeed, sniff her butt.

(And there was poop.)

Helpless

What do you do when your baby, who can only breathe through one nostril due to a congenital defect, becomes so congested that her own snorting won't let her sleep? And then what do you do when you hold her to try and give her some comfort and relief and she throws up and starts to aspirate on her own vomit?

What do you do when your child is in so much distress, and nothing you do makes it any better? When you know that if your child didn't have so many other complications this wouldn't be nearly as scary?

She did finally get some relief. But she's still really congested. I hate worrying family and friends - I almost feel like they're going to get tired of hearing about it - so I don't feel like reaching out to them right now. That's probably really silly and stupid of me.

More than anything, I just wish the wee one could be healthy so that she didn't have to endure all this. It makes me feel so completely helpless.

I hate feeling self pity, but I just can't shake the tears away right now.

Oh. Man.

So I started running again. I try to run a few times a week in the morning before work. Today is one of my running days.

I JUST noticed that I've had my shirt on BACKWARDS all morning (ever since I changed into my work clothes after my run this morning).

I don't know what's worse - the fact that I didn't notice until now, or that nobody else mentioned it to me...

Either people around here are way too polite, or really, really unobservant (which is bad for scientists!).

It's official

Inspiration for this post brought to you by Sciencemama's post on officially being a mom.

I've had a few moments where I've thought to myself, "Okay, it's official, I'm a mom."

Among them:

• being so completely covered in baby barf that even my underwear were soaked (how such a tiny little tummy can hold so much volume is beyond me!)
• showering and changing after said barf bath only to then be "stamped" with baby poop as I carry the wee one to her change table
• being very excited by the above poop because wee one hadn't pooped in a loooooong time and I was getting a little concerned
• noticing that the wee one smells a little cheesy before baths, and growing to like the scent (it's almost intoxicating now - gross as that sounds!)

I've got a few more posts semi-composed, but not quite finished yet - so stay tuned!

In the mean time, please send some kind words and support Sciencemama's way - her family's home was just flooded, and it's a devastating experience. She's being incredibly strong, but I know it can't be easy. Hang in there, Sciencemama!