Getting better

Well, I've been feeling a lot better lately. The emotions, however, are still very close to the surface. My parents called me this morning just to see how I was doing and to send me their love. It was very sweet, but I got a little choked up by the end of the call, even though I was saying "I'm doing much better."

And I have been feeling a lot better. I sort of came to the realization that no matter what, at the end of this pregnancy, I will have a baby. I don't know how long I will have the baby for, or how the baby will be, but I've seen the wee one on the ultrasound, and he/she is definitely a baby now.

I think I was mixing the fear of the unknown with the fear I had earlier in the pregnancy (I think most women worry, at least a little bit, about miscarriage early on).

So although I worry for the health of the wee one, for now I just try to concentrate my efforts on giving them the most enjoyable inutero experience that I can, and to enjoy this special time I have with him/her myself.

All that being said, I still know that as our appointment with the high risk pregnancy specialist approaches, so too will my anxiety return. Our appointment is on Thursday, so I imagine Wednesday night will be difficult.

But I'll still keep trying to focus on the positive - like enjoying the feeling of the wee one moving about inside my belly as we settle in for the night. I don't mind being kept awake like that - I just think of it as more quality time together :)