Still not ready...

I probably shouldn't post updates here so soon after recieving the results. My emotions are usually too raw, and then I think I leave most of you worried.

Yesterday we had the second amnio to test for lung maturity. It went better than the first - partly because I knew what to expect, and partly because my uterus didn't have a giant contraction in reaction to the needle this time (felt much more comfortable and quick without the contraction). I asked to see the fluid this time (Mr. Daybyday had told me that he saw it last time and it looked mostly clear and colourless). It was suprisingly clear and colourless - with just a hint of cloudiness. The doctor told me many people have a hard time telling if their water has broke (unless of course they have the "gushing" type of water breakage) because the fluid itself doesn't have a distinct look. But, he then told me that amniotic fluid sure does have a distinct scent! So of course I asked what it smelled like. The nurse finally said "this might sound funny, but it smells like semen."

Delightful.

I have to admit I thought it was sort of funny that both the doctor and the nurse hesitated to admit what the smell was like - especially considering that semen is sort of a required ingredient for a patient to be in their office in the first place (only pregnant ladies are seen as patients there). But I suppose you could get pregnant and never know what all the reproductive fluids smell (or look!) like. Still, I thought it was funny.

Fast forward to this morning when I called their office to inquire about the amnio results. The wee one's lungs are still not ready. They measure the ratio of two types of surfactant in the amniotic fluid. Once the ratio reaches 2.2 the lungs are considered mature. Last week the ratio was 1.0 - and this time it was 1.2. So there was some improvement, but not close enough for them to plan for the birth.

I was much more disappointed than I thought I would be. I nearly started to cry while I was still on the phone. (see what I mean about the emotions being too raw?)

Last night I admitted to myself that part of me is getting pretty comfortable with this routine of bedrest and waiting. I know that I still struggle with change, and let's face it, once the wee one is born there will be LOTS of change (not bad change, just change). Plus the whole birth process and the unknowns of what the wee one will have to endure shortly after birth is still pretty scary to me. So keeping her safe inside me, with little change to my current bedrest routine didn't seem so bad.

So I was really shocked by how sad I was to get the results today that her lungs are still far from ready. I'm still confused by my emotions.

We did have some good news - my amniotic fluid levels are now back in the normal range. So at least that is one less thing to worry about. We go back to the doctor's office next week for a sonogram, possibly another amnio, and to talk to the doctor. At least I'll get to see her again on the sonogram (though I would rather see her "in person" - part of me hopes I just spontaneously go into labour before the appointment).

I have managed to get work done in between all the naps and other distractions. Sometimes that helps. Thank goodness I can telecommute - it makes me feel as though I'm still being productive.

Well, that's the update. I don't really know how to end this post, so I'll just end it.